Friday, December 18, 2009

12 KEYS TO A WIFE'S/WOMAN'S HEART - WIN HER AND KEEP HER - (KEYS 7 - 9) Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful Counselor - Part XI

The entertainment industry has provided modern society with a Superman, Batman, Spiderman and Iron Man as heroes. The Christian man will not be starring in any role as one of Hollywood's heroes because his character qualities are the opposite of what the world generally admires. While it is true that physical strength and intelligence are qualities that may make a man attractive to a woman, these alone do not define the kind of man that God intends should obtain the pure affections of a woman's heart. In this post, we continue looking at keys 7-9 which would entitle him to her love according to God's plan for marriage and relationships. Please take special care to notice the connections between health and character. Think you'll see this kind of man as the hero in a movie..???


Meekness is the inward adorning, which God estimates as of great price. The apostle speaks of this as more excellent and valuable than gold or pearls or costly array. While the outward adorning beautifies only the mortal body, the ornament of meekness adorns the soul and connects finite man with the infinite God. This is the ornament of God's own choice. He who garnished the heavens with the orbs of light has by the same Spirit promised that "he will beautify the meek with salvation" (Psalm 149:4). Angels of heaven will register as best adorned those who put on the Lord Jesus Christ and walk with Him in meekness and lowliness of mind.

No man can be a Christian without having the spirit of Christ, manifesting meekness, gentleness, and refinement of manners. The husband should maintain his position in his family with all meekness, yet with decision. Meekness is a precious grace, willing to suffer silently, willing to endure trials. Meekness is patient and labors to be happy under all circumstances. Meekness is always thankful and makes its own songs of happiness, making melody in the heart to God. Nothing tends more to promote health of body and of soul than does a spirit of gratitude and praise. Meekness will suffer disappointment and wrong, and will not retaliate.

Meekness is not to be silent and sulky. To be meek is not to surrender our rights; but it is the preservation of self-control under provocation to give way to anger or to the spirit of retaliation. Under the influence of meekness, kindness, and gentleness, an atmosphere is created that will heal and not destroy. One smile of pleasure, one peaceful, approving word spoken in the spirit of meekness, would be a power to soothe, to comfort, and to bless. It is no evidence of manliness in the husband for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. It does not increase respect for him to hear him quoting Scripture to sustain his claims to authority. Wherever the power of intellect, of authority, or of force is employed, and love is not manifestly present, the affections and will of those whom we seek to reach assume a defensive, repelling position, and their strength of resistance is increased. Any show of power without love only causes a person to close their heart and resist. (Matthew 11:29/Colossians 3:12/2 Timothy 2:25/James 3:13/1 Peter 3:4)


Before a man enters a union as close as the marriage relation, he should learn how to control himself and how to deal with others. If they fulfill the words of Christ, their love will not be of a base, earthly, sensual character that will lead to the destruction of their own bodies and bring upon their wives debility and disease. Uncontrolled passion is not strength, but weakness. When the passions are indulged, the blood, instead of circulating to all parts of the body, thereby relieving the heart and clearing the mind, is called in undue amount to the internal organs. Disease comes as the result. All the passions of man, if properly controlled and rightly directed, will contribute to his physical and moral health, and insure to him a great amount of happiness. The husband is to be as a Saviour in his family. We cannot reveal a Saviour, of whom we have no knowledge. If we have not in our character the precious attributes of Christ, if we do not cherish His meekness, patience, longsuffering, kindness, and love, we may profess to know Christ, but we know Him not. (Proverbs 25:28/Galatians 5:22,23/Romans 8:7/1 Corinthians 9:27)


The husband is to be kind and affectionate. He is to love his wife as a part of himself, and to cherish her as Christ does his Church. Many men love their wives, but are too selfish to manifest it. They have a false dignity and pride, and will not show their love by words and deeds. There are many men who never know how starved is the heart of the wife for words of tender appreciation and affection. They bury their loved ones from their sight and murmur at the providence of God that has deprived them of their companions, when, could they look into the inner life of those companions, they would see that their own course was the cause of their premature death. Infirmities and disease especially affect women. The more closely we are united with Jesus Christ, the more tender and affectionate will be our conduct toward one another. (Romans 12:10/Ephesians 4:32, 5:28,29)

By the grace of God, we will continue with the next 3 keys in another post. Have a wonderful weekend in Christ.

You have just been reading from pages 11 and 12 of a booklet entitled, "Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful COUNSELOR" Look for more pages from this booklet in future blog posts... If you are interested in having the entire book email your request to You can see what the cover looks like at and by clicking on products.