WINNING A HEART VERSUS STEALING AFFECTIONS - THE PURPOSE OF A HUSBAND - Marriage Counseling With The Wondeful Counselor - Part VII

THE PURPOSE OF THE HUSBAND IS TO OBTAIN THE PURE AFFECTIONS OF A WOMAN’S HEART

OBTAINING THE PURE AFFECTIONS

Affection - a zealous (enthusiastic) attachment ADEL

Are you attached to someone or have feelings of attachment to someone ? That is affection. How did you get there ? Were you won by character qualities or were your affections stolen without you understanding how it happened ? Communication of some sort certainly played a role. Is it a physical thing ? It is nothing unusual for a man to obtain the affections of a woman’s heart. It happens all the time. For an impure man to obtain the impure affections of a woman’s heart is a great tragedy. Yet, when a pure man obtains the pure affections of a woman’s heart, it is a miracle of the grace of GOD in JESUS CHRIST. How is it a miracle do you ask ? Only God can make a human heart pure.

Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin ? (PROVERBS 20:9) Obviously, no man or woman can make such a claim. The human heart and the affections that stream out of it are not naturally pure and clean. The fountain of the heart must be purified before the streams can become pure. And just what is it that makes a heart pure or impure in God's view of things ? Foul and explicit language or indiscreet or perverted acts of sexual expression do not make a heart impure. These are just the outward evidence testifying that the heart is impure. So what is it that makes a heart pure or impure according to God ? Selfish or unselfish motives. An impure heart is ruled by selfish motives and a pure heart is generally guided by unselfish motives under the influence of the Holy Spirit. Consequently, it may be understood that all failed relationships share a common bond - selfishness.

Whenever the motives are selfish for obtaining another person's affections, it will ultimately result in emotional confusion and pain.

God does not bless selfishness and He is constantly exerting an influence upon our thoughts and feelings - upon our very consciences to lead us away from it. No one in heaven lives for self and no one controlled by selfishness will ever be permitted to live there throughout eternity.

The husband will have no assurance that his own affections are pure or that he is obtaining the pure affections of his wife’s heart unless he knows that both their hearts are being made pure by the presence of CHRIST. How do we reach this conclusion ? Their affections are not naturally pure because their hearts are not naturally pure. The heart of no human being is naturally pure. This is hard truth for some to accept and often proves to be a crossroads for many when challenged to receive Jesus Christ as personal Lord and Savior.

The heart must be purified and sanctified. If the feelings of the natural heart are not restrained and brought into subjection by the sanctifying influence of the grace of God received through the channel of faith, the thoughts of the heart are not pure and holy. The heart must be cleansed from its impurity. (Psalms 51:2/1 Timothy 1:5/1 John 1:9, 3:2,3/1 Peter 1:22/2 Corinthians 7:1)

Nothing but repentance and faith can make an impure heart pure. Through faithful, thorough confession of sin, the heart is cleansed from its moral impurity. (1 John 1:9) God intended the marriage relationship to be a foretaste of heaven. Heaven is pure and holy, and those who pass thru the gates of the city of God must be clothed with inward and outward purity. (Matthew 5:8/Revelation 21:27/Psalms 24:3,4)

Pure affections come from a pure heart. By making CHRIST first in their affections, the hearts of both the husband and wife will be made purer and purer and drawn closer together.

Let the affections first center in Christ, pass through the right channel, be purified by his Spirit, then they will lead to a yearning of soul for each other... Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. If the heart is glowing with the love of God, there will be pure affection... (Colossians 3:1,2/Romans 12:10/Galatians 5:24/2 Timothy 2:22)

Thought question: What if the heart is not glowing with the love of GOD, can there be pure affection between two people ?

The purpose of the husband is to obtain the pure affections of a woman's heart. (Ephesians 5:25,26) He is to win and continue winning the pure affections of her heart. Winning a heart is better than stealing affections and in the long run provides the foundation for a more secure and enduring relationship. Modern society makes no distinction between winning and stealing when it comes to hearts and affection but God does and it is still addressed by the 8th commandment - "Thou shalt not steal" (Exodus 20:15)

By the grace of God, we will continue this study in another post. Have a wonderful weekend.

T.K.

© 2009 Tyrone Keels

www.issues-of-life.com

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