What a tragedy that modern entertainment and publishers mock the blueprint for happiness to be found in the marriage relationship. The elusive Mr. Right is ever portrayed as just enough out of reach as to be a tease. According to God, the purpose of the husband is to obtain the pure affections of a woman's heart. One of the ways that he is to do this involves his own conduct. He himself must first give and display pure affection in order to obtain it.
Love begets love and affection begets affection. In order for a man to give pure affection, he must connect with One who is pure - Jesus Christ. Christ alone can purify and sanctify his affections and when He does this, a man's wife is recognized as his first earthly obligation.
When the affections are sanctified, our obligations to God are made primary, everything else secondary. (Galatians 5:24/Colossians 3:2)
And the man who allows his wife to occupy the second place in his affections is dishonoring himself and his God. (Ephesians 5:25)
Ladies listen: he who is not true to his God cannot be true to His wife. You cannot be first in his affections if God is not first in his affections.
Some women don't want a religious man because they think he will not be as charming, appealing or enjoyable. Women generally want a good man who will do what is right but what many of them don't always seem to realize is that no man can be, can do or can stay good and right without a connection to the One who is always good and right. The man may look good and sound good and it may feel right but that cannot last without the influence of Christ in the man's life.
Affection may be as clear as crystal and beauteous in its purity, yet it may be shallow because it has not been tested and tried. Only where Christ reigns can there be a deep, true, unselfish affection Make Christ first and last and best in everything. Constantly behold Him, and your love for Him will daily become deeper and stronger as it is submitted to the test of trial. And as your love for Him increases, your love for each other will grow deeper and stronger. Those who are one with Christ are one with each other. (James 1:12/Romans 8:35,38,39)
The conduct of the husband toward the wife and of the wife toward the husband may be such that it will make the home life a preparation for entrance to the family above. If the husband is tyrannical, exacting, critical of the actions of his wife, he cannot hold her respect and affection, and the marriage relation will become odious to her. She will not love her husband, because he does not try to make himself lovable. (Proverbs 18:24/Matthew 12:30/Ephesians 3:15-19)
Being loving and lovable is the true way to experience love. Men and women generally fail to understand this and consequently suffer much needless heartache and pain as they spend much of their lives focusing on being loved rather than longing to give love. (Acts 20:35)
The husband should read and study the Bible with his wife in his effort to obtain pure affections from her. Why should the husband read and study the Bible with his wife you may ask ? The affections are centered just where the mind is. By contemplation of great truths, the mind is elevated, the affections purified and refined; for the Spirit of God, through the truth of God, quickens the lifeless spiritual faculties, and attracts the soul heavenward. Christ will take charge of the affections of those who love and honor God, causing them to center upon proper objects. (This is the only true safeguard against adultery or any other form of infidelity) The heart that loves Jesus will not desire the unlawful affections of another. (Colossians 3:2/Galatians 5:24/John 12:32/2 Corinthians 10:5)
Unsanctified human affection always misleads, for it beckons in other paths than the way God has pointed out. ( Unsanctified affection is often mistaken as love but it is better described as strong infatuation or lust) (Romans 1:26,31)
The heart should have only pure, sanctified affection, worthy of the followers of Jesus Christ, exalted in its nature, and more heavenly than earthly. Anything different from this is debasing, degrading in courtship; and marriage cannot be holy and honorable in the sight of a pure and holy God, unless it is after the exalted scriptural principle. (Colossians 3:5/Romans 12:10)
God has given men and women affections and intellect that they may appreciate the character of God as it was revealed in the earthly life of Christ, and through faith in Christ reveal the same attributes. (These attributes in the characters of the husband and wife make the marriage life a foretaste of heaven) (1 Corinthians 14:12/Romans 12:2)
Husband and wife are to be faithful to each other so long as life shall last, ever revealing the self sacrifice that leads to the truest happiness and the highest perfection of character. Living for God, the soul sends forth to Him its best and highest affections. Is the greatest outflow of your love toward Him who died for you ? If it is, your love for each other will be after heaven's order. (Mark 10:7-9/Matthew 22:37-39)
It is true that there are many who don't believe in God and yet apparently are able to stay together in relationships and particularly in marriages for what may seem a long time. However, they will never reach the potential or fulfill the purpose of God for their union without Christ. The high, noble, lofty design of God in the institution of marriage is not discerned; therefore the purest affections of the heart, the noblest traits of character are not developed. (Proverbs 30:5/Romans 8:28/Ephesians 5:25-27)
God created man with affections capable of embracing eternal realities. These affections were to be kept pure and holy, free from all earthliness. (Colossians 3:2/John 3:31)
Knowing his own purpose and understanding GOD’s design for marriage, the husband is better prepared to recognize and fulfill the needs in his wife’s heart that GOD created him to fulfill. He must first let Christ take charge in his own life to meet these needs.
By the grace of God, we will continue this study in another post. Have a wonderful weekend.
T.K.
© 2009 Tyrone Keels
www.issues-of-life.com
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