12 KEYS TO A WIFE'S/WOMAN'S HEART - WIN HER AND KEEP HER - (KEYS 10 - 12) Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful Counselor - Part XII

No it's not money that are the keys to a good woman's heart but a lot of what is presented for entertainment purposes only could convince you otherwise. Not to mention the songs, variety of rap lyrics and publications

which have portrayed opportunistic women as gold diggers. While economic ability in men is required by God, (even if your talent is small), it is not the only character quality that the Creator intends should be one of the keys to obtaining the pure affections of a woman's heart.

10. A COMPANION WITH PURE MANLY TRAITS

Many who have grown to the years and stature of manhood are deficient in the elements that constitute a noble, manly character. God does not regard them as men. They are not reliable. Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God. (1 Corinthians 13:11/Proverbs 13:5,10:4/Luke 8:15)

What does it mean to be manly ? Every effort made to break away from the power of a bad habit is manly. To sin is unmanly; to indulge in injurious habits of eating and drinking is weak, cowardly, debased; but to deny perverted appetite is strong, brave, noble. It is manly to do right. (Ephesians 4:24/Proverbs 12:3/Philippians 2:8/Job 17:9)

11. TO BE DESIRED; TO BE EMBRACED, HELD, TOUCHED AND KISSED IN PRIVACY

I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me. His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me. (Song of Solomon 7:10,2:6) Husbands and wives should feel it their privilege and their duty to reserve for the privacy of each other's society the interchange of love tokens between themselves. His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth... (Song of Solomon 8:3,1:2)“...rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And, what exactly does the word ravished mean ? RAVISHED means delighted to ecstasy. Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest. (Ecclesiastes 9:9 12)

12. A HUSBAND WHO SUBMITS TO CHRIST

The husband who stands as the head of his wife as Christ stands as the head of His church, who loves his wife as he loves his own body, and cherishes and nourishes her as Christ the church, will not act in a way to destroy either his own powers or the powers of his wife. But it was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term. That man is not fit to stand as the head of his wife who does not realize his obligations to God to purify himself even as He is pure, and to present his body to God a living sacrifice.

When the Spirit of Christ controls the husband, the wife's subjection will only result in rest and benefit, for he will require from her only that which will result in good, and in the same way that Christ requires submission from the church. (Mark 9:35/Luke 14:11/Colossians 3:18/Ephesians 5:28/1 John 3:3)

EXCELLENCE OF CHARACTER IN A MAN

All that makes men manly, or women womanly, is reflected from the character of Christ. In the beginning God created man a gentleman, which means a man who can do work cheerfully. When the Spirit of God is in man, it leads him to relieve rather than to create suffering. To be a man before the Lord is to be kind and sympathetic. It is to be compassionate and Christlike. The true man is one who is willing to sacrifice his own interest for the good of others and who exercises himself in binding up the brokenhearted. God's standard of man is elevated to the highest meaning of the term, and if he acts up to his God-given manhood he will promote happiness in this life, which will lead to glory and an eternal reward in the life to come To obey God's commandments is to do right and only right. This is Christian manliness. The right which one has to claim to be a man is determined by the use made of his intellect. Man's words, if of any value, echo the words of God. God has made man capable of constant progress in everything that constitutes mental and moral dignity. No other creature of his hand is capable of such advancement. Man can reach an eminence in self-control and dignity that will raise him above the slavery of appetite and passion, where he can stand before God as a man, his name written in the books of heaven. (Genesis 5:2/Galatians 3:28/Philippians 2:5/2 Corinthians 5:17/1 Peter 4:11/Luke 1:6/Revelation 22:14/1 Timothy 6:11)

By the grace of God, we will continue this study in another post. Have a wonderful weekend in Christ.

You have just been reading from pages 12 and 13 of a booklet entitled, "Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful COUNSELOR" Look for more pages from this booklet in future blog posts... If you are interested in having the entire book email your request to education@issues-of-life.com. You can see what the cover looks like at www.issues-of-life.com and by clicking on products.

12 KEYS TO A WIFE'S/WOMAN'S HEART - WIN HER AND KEEP HER - (KEYS 7 - 9) Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful Counselor - Part XI

The entertainment industry has provided modern society with a Superman, Batman, Spiderman and Iron Man as heroes. The Christian man will not be starring in any role as one of Hollywood's heroes because his character qualities are the opposite of what the world generally admires. While it is true that physical strength and intelligence are qualities that may make a man attractive to a woman, these alone do not define the kind of man that God intends should obtain the pure affections of a woman's heart. In this post, we continue looking at keys 7-9 which would entitle him to her love according to God's plan for marriage and relationships. Please take special care to notice the connections between health and character. Think you'll see this kind of man as the hero in a movie..???

7. A MEEK AND PATIENT HUSBAND

Meekness is the inward adorning, which God estimates as of great price. The apostle speaks of this as more excellent and valuable than gold or pearls or costly array. While the outward adorning beautifies only the mortal body, the ornament of meekness adorns the soul and connects finite man with the infinite God. This is the ornament of God's own choice. He who garnished the heavens with the orbs of light has by the same Spirit promised that "he will beautify the meek with salvation" (Psalm 149:4). Angels of heaven will register as best adorned those who put on the Lord Jesus Christ and walk with Him in meekness and lowliness of mind.

No man can be a Christian without having the spirit of Christ, manifesting meekness, gentleness, and refinement of manners. The husband should maintain his position in his family with all meekness, yet with decision. Meekness is a precious grace, willing to suffer silently, willing to endure trials. Meekness is patient and labors to be happy under all circumstances. Meekness is always thankful and makes its own songs of happiness, making melody in the heart to God. Nothing tends more to promote health of body and of soul than does a spirit of gratitude and praise. Meekness will suffer disappointment and wrong, and will not retaliate.

Meekness is not to be silent and sulky. To be meek is not to surrender our rights; but it is the preservation of self-control under provocation to give way to anger or to the spirit of retaliation. Under the influence of meekness, kindness, and gentleness, an atmosphere is created that will heal and not destroy. One smile of pleasure, one peaceful, approving word spoken in the spirit of meekness, would be a power to soothe, to comfort, and to bless. It is no evidence of manliness in the husband for him to dwell constantly upon his position as head of the family. It does not increase respect for him to hear him quoting Scripture to sustain his claims to authority. Wherever the power of intellect, of authority, or of force is employed, and love is not manifestly present, the affections and will of those whom we seek to reach assume a defensive, repelling position, and their strength of resistance is increased. Any show of power without love only causes a person to close their heart and resist. (Matthew 11:29/Colossians 3:12/2 Timothy 2:25/James 3:13/1 Peter 3:4)

8. A HUSBAND WHO CAN CONTROL HIMSELF

Before a man enters a union as close as the marriage relation, he should learn how to control himself and how to deal with others. If they fulfill the words of Christ, their love will not be of a base, earthly, sensual character that will lead to the destruction of their own bodies and bring upon their wives debility and disease. Uncontrolled passion is not strength, but weakness. When the passions are indulged, the blood, instead of circulating to all parts of the body, thereby relieving the heart and clearing the mind, is called in undue amount to the internal organs. Disease comes as the result. All the passions of man, if properly controlled and rightly directed, will contribute to his physical and moral health, and insure to him a great amount of happiness. The husband is to be as a Saviour in his family. We cannot reveal a Saviour, of whom we have no knowledge. If we have not in our character the precious attributes of Christ, if we do not cherish His meekness, patience, longsuffering, kindness, and love, we may profess to know Christ, but we know Him not. (Proverbs 25:28/Galatians 5:22,23/Romans 8:7/1 Corinthians 9:27)

9. A KIND AFFECTIONATE HUSBAND

The husband is to be kind and affectionate. He is to love his wife as a part of himself, and to cherish her as Christ does his Church. Many men love their wives, but are too selfish to manifest it. They have a false dignity and pride, and will not show their love by words and deeds. There are many men who never know how starved is the heart of the wife for words of tender appreciation and affection. They bury their loved ones from their sight and murmur at the providence of God that has deprived them of their companions, when, could they look into the inner life of those companions, they would see that their own course was the cause of their premature death. Infirmities and disease especially affect women. The more closely we are united with Jesus Christ, the more tender and affectionate will be our conduct toward one another. (Romans 12:10/Ephesians 4:32, 5:28,29)

By the grace of God, we will continue with the next 3 keys in another post. Have a wonderful weekend in Christ.

You have just been reading from pages 11 and 12 of a booklet entitled, "Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful COUNSELOR" Look for more pages from this booklet in future blog posts... If you are interested in having the entire book email your request to education@issues-of-life.com. You can see what the cover looks like at www.issues-of-life.com and by clicking on products.

12 KEYS TO A WIFE'S/WOMAN'S HEART - WIN HER AND KEEP HER - (KEYS 3 - 6) Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful Counselor - Part X

Hollywood movies continue to belittle the legitimate needs and desires of men and women of which the Creator Himself is author. Is there any wonder why so many are or have been in so many broken relationships. The entertainment industry does not provide instructions. In this post, we continue looking at the character qualities of the kind of man that would be able to obtain the pure affections of a woman's heart. One who would be entitled to her love according to God's plan for marriage and relationships.

3. AN INTERESTED TENDER HUSBAND

Wherever the love of Jesus reigns there is pitying tenderness and thoughtfulness of others. While women want men of strong and noble characters, whom they can respect and love, these qualities need to be mingled with tenderness and affection, patience and forbearance. When the nature of man is renewed by grace, he will be full of tenderness, sympathy, and love. The tenderness and mercy that Christ has revealed in His own precious life will be seen in those who become sharers of His grace. Communion with Christ imparts to them tenderness of heart; there will be sympathy in their looks, in the tones of the voice. The words that fall from their lips are molded into expressions of Christlike tenderness and love. Many women pine for words of love and kindness and the common attentions and courtesies due them from their husbands who have selected them as their life companions. That which brings sickness of body and mind to nearly all is dissatisfied feelings and discontented repinings. Kind, cheerful, and encouraging words will prove more effective than the most healing medicines. (Ephesians 4:32/Psalms 145:8/1 Peter 3:8/Luke 7:13/Proverbs 12:18,13:12)

4. A NOBLE HUSBAND WHO SPEAKS WORDS OF COMFORT AND SEEKS TO KEEP HIS WIFE HEALTHY

Noble - of an excellent disposition; elevated

No one can try to be like Christ without growing more noble and more true. When the husband has the nobility of character, purity of heart, elevation of mind, that every true Christian must possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation. He will seek to keep his wife in health and courage. He will strive to speak words of comfort, to create an atmosphere of peace in the home circle. Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24) Of all the gifts which God has given to man, none is more noble or a greater blessing than the gift of speech, if it is sanctified by the Holy Spirit. (James 3:2/Colossians 4:6/Proverbs 18:21,15:26/Psalms 118:15)

Wherever there is purity of heart and nobleness of character, it will be revealed in purity and nobility of action and speech. A man shows that he has true wisdom by using the talent of speech to produce music in the souls of those who are trying to do their appointed work, and who are in need of encouragement. A noble nature does not exult in causing others pain, or delight in discovering their deficiencies. The highest evidence of nobility in a Christian is self-control. The greatness and nobility of a man are measured, not by the power of his feelings to subdue him, but by his power to subdue them. (Luke 6:45/Psalms 37:30/Proverbs 10:32,15:28)

5. AN INDUSTRIOUS HUSBAND THAT SUPPORTS HIS FAMILY AND SHARES HIS MONEY

The husband should cultivate industrious habits, doing his best to support his family. This will lead his wife to have respect for him. In order to maintain health, a sufficient supply of good, nourishing food is needed. As far as possible, every member of the family should be supplied with suitable clothing, sufficient for health and comfort in the changes of weather that are liable to occur. In some instances the husband proves to be too indolent to provide for a family, and his wife and children suffer. (Proverbs 19:24) None who are able to labor should be taught to expect food and clothing and shelter free of cost. (1 Timothy 5:8/2 Thessalonians 3:10/Ecclesiastes 10:18)

One of the first laws of the being is that of action. Every organ of the body has its appointed work, upon the development of which depends its strength. The normal action of all the organs gives vigor and life; inaction brings decay and death. Inaction of any of the organs of the body will be followed by a decrease in size and strength of the muscles, and will cause the blood to flow sluggishly through the blood-vessels. Had happiness consisted in doing nothing, man in his state of holy innocence would have been left unemployed. But he who formed man, knew what would be for his best happiness, and he no sooner created him than he gave him his appointed work. A life of useful labor is indispensable to the physical, mental, and moral well-being of man. It is impossible for us to enjoy health without labor. While excessive labor destroys physical and mental vigor, do-nothings rust from inaction. (Proverbs 10:16,12:24,21:25/Romans 12:11/Ecclesiastes 2:24)

Give your wife a share of the money that you receive. Let her have this as her own, and let her use it as she desires. Money is a constant test of the affections. (Acts 20:35/1 Peter 3:7)

6. A PROTECTOR

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. (Proverbs 30:5) Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. The Lord has constituted the husband the head of the wife to be her protector... to protect means to cover or shield from danger or injury; to defend; to guard; to preserve in safety. This is a husband’s duty. (Psalms 82:3/Ephesians 5:25)

You have just been reading from pages 9 and 10 of a booklet entitled, "Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful COUNSELOR" Look for more pages from this booklet in future blog posts... If you are interested in having the entire book email your request to education@issues-of-life.com. You can see what the cover looks like at www.issues-of-life.com and by clicking on products.

CLUES - HINTS AND TIPS FOR MEN ABOUT WOMEN - Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful Counselor - Part IX

Although there are some men who seem to have a naturally kind disposition toward women, this is not true for every man. Not every man knows how to treat a woman or court a lady. None of us are necessarily born with all the right qualifications as candidates for successful relationships and especially is this true with regard to marriage. However, even if we don't plan to marry or remarry, somewhere along life's way we need to learn what kind of person it takes to make someone else beside ourselves happy. This post speaks to married, marrying or remarrying men but can easily apply to any man in a relationship with a woman. Please take special care to note the relationship between a woman's health and the treatment she receives. In future posts, we will also look at the other side of the relationship equation, "What A Husband/Man Needs - 12 Keys To His Heart - Win Him And Keep Him."

but for right now we are looking at....

WHAT A WIFE/WOMAN NEEDS - 12 KEYS TO HER HEART - WIN HER AND KEEP HER

1. A HUSBAND THAT SHOWS APPRECIATION FOR HER

The husband should let his wife know that he appreciates her work. Let your wife be the object of your special and hearty attention. When you feel as God would have you, you will feel lost without the society of your wife. Only let a woman realize that she is appreciated by her husband and is precious to him, not merely because she is useful and convenient in his house, but because she is a part of himself, and she will respond to his affection and reflect the love bestowed upon her. The husband should show his wife that he appreciates her. Why is the expression of appreciation so important ? The consciousness of being appreciated is a wonderful stimulus and satisfaction. To appreciate means to value and to be appreciated is one of life’s most satisfying joys. Satisfying joys will give vigor to the mind and health and vital energy to the body. (Proverbs 12:25,31:10-12/Psalms 51:8/Ephesians 5:25,28/1 Corinthians 6:20)

2. CONSTANT CAREFUL FAITHFUL ATTENTION, LOVE, SYMPATHY AND COMPASSION

Husbands should be careful, attentive, constant, faithful, and compassionate. They should manifest love and sympathy. Many a wife has sickened and died prematurely for the want of encouraging words of sympathy and love manifested in kindly attentions and in words. Nothing is so fruitful a cause of disease as depression, gloominess, and sadness. Sadness deadens the circulation in the blood vessels and nerves and also retards the action of the liver. It hinders the process of digestion and of nutrition, and has a tendency to dry up the marrow [interior substance] of the whole system. A husband needs to realize, “He can shut the door against much disease. Courage, hope, faith, sympathy, love, promote health and prolong life. (Proverbs 17:22,15:13,12:18,16:24/ Lamentations 2:11)

Sympathy and respect encourage the striving after excellence. God has so constituted us that even the strongest desire sympathy. Love your wife. She is hungering for deep, true, elevating love. Let her have tangible proof that her care and interest for you, shown in her attention to your comfort, is appreciated and returned. Seek her opinion and approval in whatever you engage in. Respect her judgment. Do not feel that you know all that is worth knowing. (Mark 5:19/Zechariah 7:9/Matthew 20:34)

By the grace of God, we will continue with the other 10 keys in other posts. Have a wonderful weekend in Christ.

T.K.

© 2009 Tyrone Keels

www.issues-of-life.com

You have just been reading from page 8 of a booklet entitled, "Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful COUNSELOR" Look for more pages from this booklet in future blog posts... If you are interested in having the entire book email your request to education@issues-of-life.com. You can see what the cover looks like at www.issues-of-life.com and by clicking on products.