Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN - A BEAUTIFUL WIFE - ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD - Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful Counselor - Part XIX

Most of us who have ever been in a love relationship with someone will have to admit that we did not attend any special classes that taught us how to make these experiences a happy success. We basically decide based upon what feels right or what we think may be best for us. Personality alone won't hold a relationship together. There are character qualities needed by both the man and the woman if there is any hope for something more than a temporary pleasant distraction on life's highway. In this post we consider the last 3 keys to a husband's/man's heart and how to win him and keep him.


It is the duty of the wife to yield her wishes and will to her husband. Both should be yielding, but the Word of God gives preference to the judgment of the husband.

Give up your own ideas and your own wishes if by so doing you can help him. Thus you will be blessed. Do not persist in having your own way when you know that this afflicts him. The requirements of the husband may sometimes seem unreasonable to the wife, when if she should calmly, candidly take the second view of the matter, in as favorable a light for him as possible, she would see that to yield her own way and submit to his judgment, even if it conflicted with her feelings, would save them both from unhappiness and would give them great victory over the temptations of the enemy.

This helps him to develop humility as he beholds it in his wife. It is a law of the human mind that by beholding we become changed. When the Spirit of Christ controls the husband, the wife's subjection will only result in rest and benefit, for he will require from her only that which will result in good, and in the same way that Christ requires submission from the church.

A husband needs a submissive wife and a limit to that submission. God requires that the wife shall keep the fear and glory of God ever before her. Entire submission is to be made only to the Lord Jesus Christ, who has purchased her as His own child by the infinite price of His life... There is One who stands higher than the husband to the wife; it is her Redeemer, and her submission to her husband is to be rendered as God has directed--"as it is fit in the Lord." (Colossians 3:18) (Ephesians 5:22/Titus 2:3,4)

11. A VIRTUOUS WOMAN - Virtuous - morally good (ADEL)

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4) A virtuous woman does not make her husband ashamed of her conduct when they are alone together, together with others or when she is not by his side.

Virtue of character depends upon the right action of the powers of the mind and body. Who can find a virtuous woman ? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)


No other influence that can surround the human soul has such power as the influence of an unselfish life. In the companionship of a true, unselfish woman, the husband finds peace and happiness, forgetting the cares of the world. In order to be happy ourselves, we must live to make others happy. If the mind is free and happy, from a consciousness of right-doing and a sense of satisfaction in causing happiness to others, it creates a cheerfulness that will react upon the whole system, causing a freer circulation of the blood, and a toning up of the entire body. A contented mind, a cheerful spirit, is health to the body and strength to the soul. A merry (rejoicing) heart doeth good like a medicine. (Proverbs 17:22,31:30,15:13/1 Samuel 25:3/John 6:53,54,16:33/Hebrews 9:14/)

It is selfish to devote our precious time to mourning over disappointed hopes, indulging a useless grief that clouds the family circle. Undue grief is displeasing to God. Grief, anxiety, discontent, remorse, guilt, distrust, all tend to break down the life forces and to invite decay and death. It is the worst phase of selfishness to fret and censure and complain because you have the power to do this and those whom you abuse in this way cannot prevent you. Self-pity is deteriorating to the characters of those who cherish it, and it exerts an influence that spoils the happiness of others. If the wife is selfish, lacking in womanly traits, neither amiable nor self-denying, may the Lord help them: for life will be a woeful disappointment. (Proverbs 27:15,25:24,21:9,7:11/Psalms 73:21/Matthew 26:38/Ecclesiastes 2:17)


All that makes men manly, or women womanly, is reflected from the character of Christ. This is because true manliness and true womanliness include character qualities and is not just defined by gender. Woman, if she wisely improves her time and her faculties, relying upon God for wisdom and strength, may stand on an equality with her husband as adviser, counselor, companion, and coworker, and yet lose none of her womanly grace or modesty. She may elevate her own character, and just as she does this she is elevating and ennobling the characters of her family and exerting a powerful though unconscious influence upon others around her.- Every woman should develop a well-balanced mind and a pure character, reflecting only the true, the good, and the beautiful.

Woman does not know her power. God did not intend that her capabilities should be all absorbed in questioning: What shall I eat ? what shall I drink ? and wherewithal shall I be clothed ? There is a higher purpose for woman, a grander destiny. She should develop and cultivate her powers, for God can employ them in the great work of saving souls from eternal ruin. Woman's heart is full of patience and love if that woman has surrendered her heart to God.

The Lord would have woman seek constantly to improve both in mind and heart, gaining intellectual and moral strength that she may lead a useful and happy life,--a blessing to the world and an honor to her Creator. Daughters of the heavenly King, members of the royal family, will feel a burden of responsibility to attain to a higher life, that they may be brought into close connection with heaven and work in unison with the Redeemer of the world. (Revelation 12:1/Ruth 3:11/Psalms 144;12/Galatians 3:28/Proverbs 4:18,31:29/2 John 1:5/Philippians 3:14/Deuteronomy 18:13/Matthew 5:48/Romans 12:2)

By the grace of God, we will continue this study in another post. Have a wonderful weekend.

You have just been reading from pages 20 and 21 of a booklet entitled, "Marriage Counseling With The Wonderful COUNSELOR" Look for more pages from this booklet in future blog posts... If you are interested in having the entire book email your request to You can see what the cover looks like at and by clicking on products.