Can you do this ? Can anyone do this ? It may be hard but it is not impossible. We're talking about loving someone and being a lovely person without receiving human love in return. Well, why would I want to do that you might ask. For one thing the best experience of love is in giving it not receiving it. Receiving love and being appreciated is certainly good and more in harmony with our human nature. However, the purer, better and more fulfilling love is experienced by giving it and it is this kind of love that is most needed in all relationships; especially marriage. It all boils down to you being the beautiful person that God created you to be regardless of how anyone treats you. That is called Christ-likeness and it requires the grace of God.
BEING LOVELY AND LOVING WITHOUT RECEIVING HUMAN LOVE
The husband or the wife can be loving even if one of them does not receive human love from the other. This can only happen by the grace of God and His love being shed abroad in the heart.
Those who enter the marriage relation while unconverted should not after conversion leave their unbelieving companions. Whatever their religious character may be, they must remain faithful, kind, and true toward them; yet they should acknowledge the claims of God above any earthly relationship, serving him with fidelity, even though inconvenience, trials, and persecutions may arise for the sake of Christ and the truth. This persevering fidelity to truth and duty may be a sanctifying influence upon the unbelieving companion. Even sinners whose hearts are not utterly closed to God's Spirit will respond to kindness; while they may give hate for hate, they will also give love for love. But it is only the Spirit of God that gives love for hatred. To be kind to the unthankful and to the evil, to do good hoping for nothing again, is the insignia of the royalty of heaven, the sure token by which the children of the Highest reveal their high estate. (1 Corinthians 7:10-16/Luke 6:32-35)
In the character of Abigail, the wife of Nabal, we have an illustration of womanhood after the order of Christ; while her husband illustrates what a man may become who yields himself to the control of Satan. Nabal was like the rich man in the parable. He had only one thought,--to use God's merciful gifts to gratify his selfish animal appetites. He had no thought of gratitude to the giver. He was not rich toward God; for eternal treasure had no attraction for him. (1 Samuel 25:36/Romans 8:5/Galatians 5:19-21)
Nabal was naturally unreasonable and abusive, and when aroused he knew not what he said or did. The piety of Abigail, like the fragrance of a flower, breathed out all unconsciously in face and word and action. The Spirit of the Son of God was abiding in her soul. Her heart was full of purity, gentleness, and sanctified love. Her speech, seasoned with grace, and full of kindness and peace, shed a heavenly influence. Kind words make the life beautiful and noble; for in them is the spirit that pervades heaven. (1 Samuel 25:3,10,1126,28,30/Galatians 5:22,23)
Nabal had scornfully inquired, "Who is David?" but Abigail called him, "My Lord." With kind words she sought to soothe his irritated feelings. She did not reproach him for his hasty action, for she felt assured that a little time and reflection would work a change in his purpose, and that his conscience itself would condemn the violent measure which he was about to take. She pleaded with David in behalf of her husband. (1 Samuel 25:24)
With utter unselfishness of spirit, she desired him to impute the whole blame of the matter to her, and not to charge it to her poor, deluded husband, who knew not what was for his own good or happiness. What a spirit is this ! With nothing of ostentation or pride, but full of the wisdom and love of God, Abigail revealed the strength of her devotion to her household. Whatever was her husband's disposition, he was her husband still, and she made it plain to the indignant captain that the unkind course of her husband was in nowise premeditated against him as a personal affront; but it was simply the outburst of an unhappy and selfish nature. (1 Samuel 25:24,25,28,31,10,11)Abigail was a loving and lovely person without love from her husband. Is it possible for a human being to be like Abigail ? There are many more examples like this that could be cited but the greatest example is seen in the person of Jesus Christ. By the enabling grace of God, any person can become Christ-like in character and give love even if he or she does not receive it.
By the grace of God, we will continue this study in another post.
Have a wonderful weekend.
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